:: 3/13/01 - Cenpjas ::
Dateline : Homeworld (during return)
This is a short story that I'm afraid fall's down in a few areas. The first and for me most glaring problem is through suspension of disbelief, the names chosen for the characters are immensely distracting I will cite two examples :
Quote1 " "And welcome aboard, sir," added Apocalypse ".
Quote2 "staff meeting at 1800 with D. Stroyer and Death Fang".
Although the personalities are given full names, choosing to use this way to refer to them really disrupts the story. There are some nice touch's and some flair you catch a glimpse of, however there is very little "meat" on the story to hold it all together.
Not Recommended by -cen;
NB: this work shows promise, and I do look forward to any revisions or new stores from the Author.
