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Outside - The Reflection
:: 01-01-31 ::
Epilogue
The only true freedom is being Unbound, say the Bentusi. It is strange that during the brief time I was Unbound and then beyond that, I was still prisoner to the same troubles that haunted me as a Bound person. But when I let go of the Unbound portions of myself, I felt like I was finally being released.
Not that nothing remains from that short time. On rare occasion, I would once again link with the Beastslayer for a few hours. I can also still hear the Bentusi’s thoughts and sometimes can even hear Datlai, as she sometimes can hear me. But for the most part I remain Bound.
The only true freedom is understanding who you are and what you want.
Tasiin Limandatt’sa
Excerpted from
Journeys Outside, Through the Door
49 AHL
*****
We, the T-Mat, express our…regrets to the Galactic Council for some of our…premature actions. We accept the…censure placed on us by our fellow Unbound ones and by the Galactic Council. However, we wish to express that we believed what we did was for the good of all who may call themselves Unbound. We never wished harm on any Bentusi or other Council member, but merely to be more…cautious in the steps taken by the members of the Beastslayer project. We believed you risked all of us to a new Devourer with your ship. These fears were not unjustified - a Bentusi ship did in fact fall to such an entity. However, with the fall of Outside, we are willing to…reconsider…
Excerpted from Galactic Council Proceedings
Meeting on T-Mat Censure and Beastslayer Project
9528 GSY (17.93 AHL)
*****
It had happened in only a few agonizing minutes.
The holy places had been pushed up so that the highest, which were traversed so easily before, now were out of reach; only the lowest could be entered, and with more difficulty. And the holiest place of all, which had been haunted by the guardian, who once decided that even they weren’t pure enough to enter, was utterly destroyed.
Everything they loved and worshipped and fought for, out of reach or gone.
The destroyer had been of them, but not them. One of their children.
It would be necessary to seek retribution.
The Naggarok launchers sent great fleets inward to search for the destroyers.
*****
It is strange that I am here, Tasiin thought. Many strange things have happened to me lately. This one, at least, will not cause the grief the other changes have.
The wedding was conducted three days after the Beastslayer’s arrival at Hiigara, the day after the celebration. It was held in an observation deck fitted quickly on board the Beastslayer during the Council’s ceremonies, a gift from the Unbound races. The Beastslayer orbited Hiigara with the Mothership, trailed by the Jal-Tor and the Martyrdom, and in the distance, a Bentusi Tradeship.
The thirteen other members of kiith Limandatt, which now included the former Manaan patron, Letehl Manaan, were present, as were a few others - Manaan, as well as a few of the Beastslayer research team, Dolann Kaalel, Shanal Alo, Pukna Somtaaw, and Thenar Soban.
Tasiin could sense varying reactions. Many were simply curious, interested by the fact that they were looking upon those who defeated Outside. Some were a bit surprised with him and Datlai. The Beastslayer project representatives, at least, seemed comforted. They were the ones who had watched Tasiin fall into his own despair, but nonetheless go Outside and do the impossible. It had been only two months ago that Dolann Kaalel had warned him against isolating himself, to take care of himself. Now, Tasiin was here.
Datlai gently caressed his face. She was dressed in a simple, yet beautiful silver and blue robe, two of the kiith’s colors. She touched Tasiin lightly, affectionately. Her face looked at him concernedly. Tasiin took her hand and held it.
With their backs to the Hiigaran sun, the stars of the Galaxy in their faces, and Hiigara and the Mothership to one side, the marriage, in the traditional Limandatt way, started. It was somber, contemplative - a variety of rituals, time for reflection; a brief exchange of their books of musings, in which one would fill a page of the other’s. Finally there was the Long Path, an hour-long walk around a maze-like route created by the other Limandatt around the Beastslayer, representing life itself and ending where it started.
The celebration afterwards, on the other hand, was not as solemn. Jokes and stories and musings were shared. The Manaan provided entertainment, and Thenar Soban added by doing his impression of absurdly evil T-Mat. By the end, when Tasiin and Datlai went off to their quarters, Tasiin was laughing at nothing in particular, while Datlai was singing a silly parody created impromptu by the Manaan.
*****
“Still thinking?” asked Datlai, resting next to Tasiin.
“Yes. About everything…”
Datlai held onto him. “Did you at least enjoy today?”
“Yes. Everything went well. That does not happen often,” replied Tasiin.
“Try not to be too concerned with what has happened. There will be plenty of time tomorrow for worrying.”
“I know.”
Datlai lightly touched his face. “Good night, Tasiin.” She closed her eyes.
Tasiin looked into the darkness of the room. He felt Datlai calmly rest next to him. It is all over, he thought. I have done what I had to.
Slowly, Tasiin drifted off to sleep.
*****
Tasiin looked out into the void with a sadness. The doorway was closed. The voices were silent.
But Kharak, in front of him, still Burned. The cancer of the Beast still had wreaked it toll. Outside, the tragic and malevolent and strange entity, had committed its sins.
“Does this ever end?” asked Tasiin.
“Perhaps,” replied Datlai.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re…not Datlai?”
“Because, Tasiin, this is your Dream. Surely you know that by now.”
Tasiin nodded.
“I am a part of your subconscious, really no more than your imagination. The real Datlai, the poor often-tragic Datlai you love would never ask what I - you, in truth - have asked you to do. Which is to finish what was started. No, she needs you as much as you need her - she did lose you, then her family and kiith, and finally Dillat. No, I am not Datlai, but then again, the doorway was not Outside.”
“But I came back to her.”
“Yes, the marriage was a nice gesture. But you still didn’t complete what was asked of you,” dream-Datlai replied. “Look.” She pointed at him.
Tasiin looked down at his body, which glowed with a ghostly light. He knew it would never leave him, and might indeed spread. “Outside. What remains of it,” he said.
“Yes.”
“I have gone far enough with this. I did what was necessary. I am too tired to go any further,” Tasiin said.
“It was always your decision. But decisions always have consequences.” Dream-Datlai reached out to him, as if to touch him. Tasiin instead shrunk away. She sighed with the sadness of an infinity of worlds, and faded away.
For a long time, Tasiin was left with nothing - only a burning Kharak in front of him and Outside within him.
Finally, after an eternity of reflecting, Tasiin felt a familiar presence behind him.
Tasiin turned around, finding…Datlai. The real Datlai, he somehow knew. She came next to him, taking his hand, and he let her.
“Datlai.”
“Tasiin.”
“Decisions always have consequences,” Tasiin mused.
“But sometimes consequences are acceptable.” She embraced him.
Tasiin watched Kharak fade out. It would always burn. But, a new world replaced it - Hiigara, with its beautiful blue oceans and green continents. He tightened his grip on Datlai suddenly.
The two exchanged stories about the stars.
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