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Outside - The Reflection
:: 01-01-31 ::
Chapter 12: Outside
Personal Log 17.75 AHL:
The Beastslayer is being prepared for launch to Outside.
It will gather information for the twenty seconds it is there. The others believe they can try to find a defense against the presence that lives there. They say the Beastslayer must be launched for the good of the entire Universe. They argue that the entity cannot be allowed to do as it pleases with us. Although I agree that the entity must be stopped eventually, I doubt we will be able to do it. It simply is too powerful, too malevolent. Whoever goes there will be completely at its mercy. I must go on it, though. If the Bentusi are correct in stating that I injured it slightly, then I may be the only chance for success on the mission.
I have done some calculations on Outside. It seems to be an actual space, perhaps not unlike our own as far as physics is concerned. It seems to be like a bridge connecting many universes. It might be a form of super-universe. A few calculations hint at Outside having several quantum states, each with its own physical constants. One of these layers would have laws nearly identical to our own, which would let the Beastslayer continue to exist without its atoms disintegrating. For which state the Beastslayer is going, we will have to trust the Naggarok launchers in choosing the correct one.
As for matters not related to the Beastslayer, the few remaining members of kiith Limandatt have chosen me as their kiith-sa. I accepted, but I am not sure if I will be able to lead them with the situation with Outside, the T-Mat, and the Beastslayer at hand. The journey Outside might make it irrelevant soon anyway. Datlai assures me to not worry about it for now. If only I could share her optimism… If I could, I would believe the Beastslayer will return safely. I cannot imagine it happening, though. Datlai believes it will.
I hope she never understands what I do.
Tasiin Limandatt(‘sa)
Trans-hyperdrive Specialist
*****
The Beastslayer hovered in front of the massed fleet, in formation for the launch Outside. Repair drones finished their work on the nascent trans-hyperdrive. The Beastslayer’s missile bays loaded themselves, ion cannons charged up. An electrical field powered up around the Beastslayer in preparation for infection. Finally, the Beastslayer was ready.
*****
“All systems are ready,” reported Thenar Soban, acting-captain of the Beastslayer. He paced in front of the bridge, one of the five people aboard.
“Good luck,” Dolann Kaalel said over a com channel.
“May the gods be with you,” Shanal Alo added.
Everyone looked to Tasiin, who sat at the trans-hyperdrive controls, slightly rear of the bridge’s center.
“Engaging trans-hyperdrive,” he finally stated.
On the viewscreen, what seemed to be a hyperspace window appeared. The glow was different in some ways - it was brighter, shafts of light reaching out of it. It moved along the Beastslayer, bluish light filling the viewscreen.
The ship jumped out of the Universe.
*****
It sensed the entry into its being.
The group of flicker minds came like the previous ones. That unfortunate group had dared to attack, despite their faintness. In response, it had placed a small amount of its being on their vessel, dooming those inside.
It considered doing the same to this vessel. Those inside meant harm, and it would be a relatively easy matter to layer a fraction of its essence on the ship, or destroy it outright.
…Except the bright one was on it. The yearning one, the one who had caused it pain, the one whose mind echoed its own. It did consider planting its essence, which would dispose of the bright one. Instead, it decided that the bright one would be of much greater use if kept. Even as the other plotted against it, there was a desire to within to join, to revert to a desirable state.
But first, it incapacitated the flicker minds.
*****
The other four crew members screamed and clenched in pain. They all fell to the floor as their bodies shook. In moments they were unconscious.
Tasiin looked into the viewscreen, filled with a complete and utter darkness. Angrily, he asked, “What do you want?”
For the first time, a clear response came.
*****
The entity sensed the resentment from the bright one. It replied calmly.
We want what you want.
We want to be left alone.
Tasiin could feel what the power of the entity was. It stretched his ability to comprehend. He realized its thoughts defined Outside. Its hunger was insatiable.
I do not want that, he thought. I do no-
You do want it, the presence replied. We know you do. Do not lie to yourself.
I do not attack-
Tasiin felt what seemed to be memories. We were attacked by the previous group. He understood who they were as the other said it, as well as their motivation.
The Naggarok. Kharak’s name-
In a flash, Tasiin witnessed countless other journeys Outside, countless attacks on the entity. Each time, the others would futilely try to destroy the entity, when the other simply wanted to continue in its solitude. So many times, the other was forced to defend itself. A profound weariness, frustration, and sadness accompanied the memories. Tasiin began to feel sympathy for the other.
Not everyone is bad. Not everyone would harm you. Stop attacking us, so I can talk to them. I would not let them kill you. They can understand, he thought.
They understand nothing! It was like the entity was screaming at him. An infinite hate seemed to flood the room from the darkness on the viewscreen. Tasiin realized too many had hated it for it to believe in anything else.
Join us.
No. He thought of Datlai, who did understand his desire to be alone. He dared not to harm her.
You will come.
No!
The entity withdrew in pain. The bright one was stronger - it had now a minor injury where the other had struck out in resistance. It had underestimated the one’s determination. It was, to an extent, confused even. It sensed the bright one’s will to defend the others, but also a hidden desire to push them away.
Come, it said more forcefully.
No!
Again the entity recoiled in pain for a moment.
Come.
When the bright one lashed back in its own confusion, the entity did not flinch.
If you want to be left alone, then why do you want me? I am not you. Tasiin thought. The exchange was becoming more rapid and more intense.
We will become you. You will become us. Then we can be alone. Come.
The command was extremely powerful. Reality seemed to be fading around him, the entity’s hunger devouring all. You are forcing me to go. I will not go.
Come.
Tasiin felt himself being pulled out of his body. He resisted, holding on to the memory of his body, the ship, his kiith, the project, anything. He thought of Datlai.
Come!
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